Are We Really Friends—or Do You Just Want Me to Comment on Your Blog? || a Discussion

I don’t know if you’re aware of this piece of blogging advice, but it can be summed up in one word—interact. Comment on other bloggers’ blogs, and in turn they will check out your blog and comment on it too. It’s an almost surefire way to grow your blog’s following. In addition to that, you’ll gain blogging friends more easily.

I’ve been interacting, or blog hopping, as we call it, since I first started blogging. I attribute most of my blog’s growth during the nearly six months I’ve had it to blog hopping. But I went through a phase a while ago wherein I stopped commeting on the blogs that didn’t interest me anymore even though we were leaving each other nice comments. And guess what? They didn’t comment on my blog anymore, and I haven’t heard from them since.

I also noticed this trend of people commenting on my blog and others’ blogs with detached one word sentences that simply seem to call out, “Hey! Check out my blog.” And that got me thinking about why we even comment on other people’s blogs.

A question formed in my mind that I couldn’t ignore—Are we blog hopping purely for our stats, and not because we’re genuinely interested in the content we’re consuming?

Think about it—you start commenting on someone’s blog, or someone starts commenting on yours. Either way, you both end up following each other. For every comment you leave on their blog, they’ll leave a comment on yours. I can think of dozens of blogs who specialize in this. I’ve even started doing this.

So what happens when you stop commenting? What if you suddenly get busy? Will they stop commenting–just like that? Even though you left each other such nice comments before you stopped blog hopping, will the other person stop commenting on your blog just because they won’t be getting something in return anymore?

Frankly, the thought disturbs me. Why are we leaving nice comments on other people’s blogs just so that they’ll check out our blogs in return? If so, which friendships are real and which are contingent on blog hopping?

Let me be clear that I’m not trying to bash anyone in this post. I have fed into this mindset myself. I’ve stopped commenting on people’s blogs just because they stopped commenting on mine. I have blog hopped solely because I want other people to check out my blog and not because I genuinely love their content. I’m not trying to call out anyone who has done this because I’m guilty of it too, and the reasons for doing it are perfectly understandable.

I’m also not saying that you shouldn’t blog hop. It’s a great way to grow your blog and ensure that the posts you’ve worked hard on are actually read by someone. I’m just not a fan of the symbiotic relationships that blog hopping creates. In my humble opinion, it’s perfectly okay to blog hop for views and stats—I know I do it. But this shouldn’t be the only reason we comment on other blogs.

I still comment on blogs who don’t follow me or interact with any of my posts. And even if I won’t get a comment back, I still comment on their blogs because I like their content. That’s the level I want to reach. I want to be able to not blog hop, and still have people commenting on my blog at the end of the day because they genuinely enjoy my content.

I only follow and continually comment on about 40 blogs now, and I know that this is surely gonna kill my stats—but you know what? It’s for the best, because all of the posts on my reader, in the words of Marie Kondo, “bring [me] joy.”

Also, shout out to my blogging friends. You know who you are. I think it wouldn’t be wrong of me to believe that if either of us stopped commenting on the other’s blog for whatever reason, we would still be friends.

This amazing post by Ilsa @ A Whisper of Ink, entitled Do You Genuinely Loving the Content You’re Creating and Consuming? partly inspired me to write this post. I wrote my own discussion on the topic because I wanted to share my own perspective, and because I feel like this discussion has to be brought back.

Please tell me your thoughts down below! Is there anything you disagree or agree with? What is your perspective on blog hopping? Sadly, I can’t reply to you yet because it’s exam season for me right now, but I’ll be back in no time!

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100 thoughts on “Are We Really Friends—or Do You Just Want Me to Comment on Your Blog? || a Discussion”

  1. Yesss!! I saw you post about this on Twitter, and then when I saw the title to this post I was like Spill. The. Tea. I’ve started to blog hop more recently, and I’ve started a rule where if I’m not genuinely interested in a post, I won’t comment on it. I know it might be weird, but I don’t want to leave an ingenuine comment on a blog, it feels sort of like faking it.

    I do love blog hopping though, there are SO many fantastic blogs out there that post really great content. As for the bloggers I follow, there are a bunch where if I see one of their posts in my inbox, I automatically get excited, because I love reading their posts and participating in their discussions. The whole comment for comment thing is a nice gesture, but I would rather the people who comment on my posts be actually interested in them. Great discussion!! ♥️♥️

    Liked by 2 people

    1. It does feel like faking it! It’s something I’m trying to be better at. I also think that if I only comment on the posts I genuinely love, I’ll spend less time blog hopping, because blog hopping eats so much of my time. But same, blog hopping is really fun, and I don’t think I’ll ever not do it. So many bloggers continually put out AMAZING posts, and I love supporting them with comments! Yep, I’d rather have fewer comments if it means that people are here for my posts, and not so that I’ll comment back.

      Thank you!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Interesting post (: I love reading other people’s content and have found some fantastic blogs to follow already. If someone new follows me I do check out their page (although I’m playing catch up atm and still need to do it) but it’s not just to return a favour, I like finding out what their pages are like and generally find out that they have content that I find intriguing. I think what I find most troublesome is when people respond but clearly haven’t read what you’ve posted. I haven’t had this happen to me but I’ve noticed it on other pages where it’s been said that a non review post was a great review /: thinking about the possibility of people just hitting like without reading what you’ve written is rather disheartening really.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thank you!!

        I think that that’s a great reason! Idk, for me, I just have so many things on my plate that I’m hesitant to check out someone new because blog hopping takes so much time!!

        Oh same!! When someone just comments “great post!” It makes me wonder if they actually read it. I noticed this one person who commented the same thing in every type of review post. And that was just… questionable. Just like someone commenting great review on a post that’s not a review!! Same, it’s very disheartening:/ i would rather get fewer engagement if it means that everyone engaging with me is genuinely interested in reading my posts

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I can understand that, it can take forever catching up on posts, even when you’re new so I have no idea how people following hundreds of blogs keep up.

        It’s a shame that you have to wonder about things like that but it’s so true. It’s all too easy to hit like and leave a vague comment without reading something so it’s easy to wonder if that’s what people do. I genuinely couldn’t do that though, it feels dishonest. Like I prefer reading some reviews after I’ve read the book in question (I read reviews of ones I’m unsure about or haven’t heard of or am interested in but not desperate to read before, I mean reviews for books I’m buzzing with enthusiastic for already) and feel bad for not reading it then and there if it’s by someone whose posts I love but I’d rather wait and read it once I’ve read the book, and share how I feel about it too, in those cases than hit like and leave a vague remark without having read it. It’s just nice to know that there are some genuine, truly lovely people out there as well. And it is nice when you get comments from people who are truly interested in your posts; sometimes it leads to some really lovely, touching comments.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. ahh, with reviews, I almost never click on them unless I’ve read them. Even if it’s a book that’s on my TBR, I won’t read and comment because I hate going into books knowing a lot of things about it. I want to know the least about it as possible. Also, it’s a little hard to leave genuine comments on reviews if you’re not interested in reading the book or haven’t read the book. I confess.. when I was still knew to blog hopping and wanted to comment on every post, I lied that a review made me interested in reading a book when it really didn’t just so that I could comment something. If the book is on my TBR, i also find it a little tedious to comment on the review because i’ll be saying variations of, “I’m so excited” and I really don’t want that!

        Liked by 2 people

      5. I can totally relate to that. The ones I read most, in advance, are the ones that I’m in two minds about reading as they can help me make my mind up. Or ones that I hadn’t heard of in the first place. I don’t think I’ve commented on any that I’m not interested in (that I can remember) although I have started to read a few in the past then stopped upon realizing that it really wasn’t the book for me. In those cases I just didn’t comment though. Yes that’s true too, I guess you could say ‘great review but this isn’t the book for me’ but then that could feel rather wrong when its on a review that’s full of praise for a book. I hadn’t really thought of that /: That’s true too, it’s definitely easier to comment if you’ve read the book and can share your feelings too.

        Liked by 2 people

  2. Love this post! This is actually something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately. Recently I realized that I follow A LOT of blogs but only read a few posts every day… so why am I following SO MANY blogs? Definitely something to think about. Thanks for being so open and honest! ❤

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I’m so glad you did, Holly! That’s a question I asked myself when I was still new. Back then, I followed ANY blog I could find, with no regard for whether I actually liked their content or not because I was told that blog hopping was the best way to make my blog grow. It got to the point wherein my reader got so clogged with posts every single day, and I had no idea whose posts I was reading because I didn’t remember following them. I finally went on an unfollowing spree, and it was so freeing to only follow the people whose posts i was actually looking forward to reading!

      Like

  3. I do mostly only comment on blogs whose content I enjoy. I would love to have higher stats but the truth is I don’t have the time to comment on everyone’s stuff (therefore I have to be selective). And I understand some of the bigger blogs with thousands of followers can’t respond to everyone’s comments, but for me it’s always a disappointment to take time to comment and not get a reply back on that person’s own blog (not talking about comments in return for comments, I mean: I took time to write a comment about their review, content, whatever, and they didn’t give so much as a like to the comment to acknowledge they received it.) It especially drives me crazy when the blog is smaller and the author doesn’t respond. I don’t really understand what the point of blogging is if you aren’t engaging with the people who do take time to read it?

    I like to discuss books- that’s why I’m here. Otherwise I’m just talking to myself. That’s boring and doesn’t require half so much effort.

    Sorry for the long comment!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. true, when I first started blogging, I followed any blog that I could find, but I soon realized that I wasn’t interested in most of them. Plus, the amount of posts showing up on my reader everyday became unbearable! It’s pretty hard to keep up with a lot of blogs, so what I did was unfollow everyone who I didn’t have a connection with or whose content I didn’t care for, and it was the best decision.

      Actually, I think most big blogs still reply to their comments. sure, not all of our comments will get replied to, but I know from experience that replying to comments takes a lot of time. Some bloggers also aren’t in a good mental space, or are just incredibly busy, and I’ve learned not to fault them for not replying. I think comments get eaten up by notifs sometimes too. I learned that when I came back from exam week and scrolled to the end of my notifications, only to see that they ended, erasing some of my unreplied to comments. It does hurt if you took the time to write a comment only to not get a reply though!

      Ohh, you’re definitely calling out my baby blogger self. Weirdly, when I was a newbie blogger, I didn’t reply to all of my comments. I went back and read some of my old posts, only to find that I hadn’t replied to a lot of the comments on them, and I feel so bad. I think I just forgot to, because I wasn’t used to replying to comments yet. I was also in China, where the internet was bad and I only had a phone, so I couldn’t reply to comments or keep up with notifications a lot. I think we just have to realize that bloggers don’t owe us anything, and even if we did take the time to write a comment, they’re not obligated to give a reply or like because it’s their blog. Some may also have started not to engage with people, but for some other reason. anyways, that’s just my take 🙂

      Don’t worry, this is a long reply too!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. No worries! You bring up a lot of valid points. I wasn’t calling out you specifically (I’m sorry!) – you have always been pretty good about saying you have other stuff going on, which of course I do/would have understood.

        And you’re right- no one owes me anything.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. I FELT THIS. sometimes i wonder if people actually like my content or if they’re just there so i can read their blog, and thinking in that way can really make blogging feel like everything’s fake? which is a terrible mindset and i’ve started to only read and comment on posts i’m actually interested in reading because when you think about it – if you’re only blog hopping for stats, what’s the point in being in a community in the first place? i would much rather have worse stats on my blog than have my whole blogging experience feel disingenuous.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. aww, audrey, I’m so sad that you already feel this way even though you’re just new 😦 same, I would rather have less comments on my blog if it meant that the people commenting weren’t commenting for a comment back, but because they genuinely enjoy my content. Don’t worry though, I know that people like you for you–you’re so friendly and I you have a distinct blogging voice already!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I think that this is a really important discussion and I’m glad you decided to orchestrate it. Like you said, there is nothing wrong with blog hoping & commenting to help build friendships/stats/followers, but the hope is to have friends who you can/will support without thinking of whether or not they will do the same with all of your posts. I know that, personally, I do try to show extra love to those who are always kind and supportive, but I also truly believe that these are people that I would support even if they stopped supporting me. I have one person in mind, particularly, who was at one time the source of the majority of my comments. I’ve noticed in the past couple of months that her interaction with my posts has waned, but I still always read all of her posts and comment when I have things to add or to tell her what I thought of her book review, etc. One issue I really run into is that I only blog hop once or twice a week- it’s honestly too hard for me to do it more than that with my school and work schedule. I have a list of people in my head who I always try to check up on, and sometimes it’s been about a week or so since I’ve gotten to read and comment on their posts, so I always do it in bulk. Since I do it that way, if I haven’t interacted with someone for a few weeks, I do occasionally forget to check their new posts and might go another few days before remembering that I still need to catch up on their new content! I always feel really bad about how behind I get on blog hoping, but I try to catch up when I can and still show support to those who, even if they aren’t as active in my comments, I feel have content that truly deserves my support and encouragement.

    Sorry for the long winded comment! This was just a thought provoking post and I had to access my own blog hoping habits after reading it!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. it’s okay!! long winded comments are a given with discussions, and I always love reading your comments.

      thanks!! that’s what i hope too, and despite ranting about it, I think that I have forged genuine connections with most of the people i’ve met through blogging. same, I know that everyone is going through something we don’t know about, and some people are just busy, so even if someone doesn’t comment on my posts anymore, i’d still comment on theirs because we’re friends and I love their content.

      oh, same. i have a bad habit of reading posts but not liking or commenting on them, even though i really loved the post. but don’t feel bad! everyone who’s blog hopped knows that it takes a lot of time and it’s hard to know what to say. I personally would not forget you if you didn’t comment on my posts for, like seven weeks because I still remember all of your earlier comments and appreciate you for them! seriously, you write amazing comments, how??

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I am SO bad about reading posts and not liking or commenting! Especially because a lot of the time I end up on posts because someone shared them from Twitter and my phone never opens the article through my WordPress app, so I won’t be signed in and can’t like/comment unless I search for the article on my WordPress app! I hate that.

        I think you’re so right about how we can’t know what is going on in someone else’s lives and how it might be effecting the support they are/aren’t showing. Like personally, when I take hiatus, I stay off of WordPress for the most part, so I’m not blog hopping or commenting. I always feel bad about it, but I try to show more love when I come back to make up for it. I hope other bloggers feel the same way as you and I!!

        And I’m so glad you think my comments are amazing! I try to genuinely add to the discussion when I comment. You put out really great content, Caitlin, so I always have tons to talk about under your posts!!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. AHHH SAME. but what usually happens is that I open the wordpress app when I have no internet and kill time by reading a few posts. Most of the time, I enjoy all of the posts and want to at least like it, but when I get home, I just forget to comment. Plus, I don’t like commenting on posts using my phone because it eats up my battery.

        AH THANK YOU BRITTANY <33

        Liked by 2 people

      3. Same! I’m always thinking, “I’ll like the post now and come back later to comment” but end up forgetting 99.5% of the time. It’s a thing I loathe about my blog hopping habits, lol. And you’re very welcome!!

        Liked by 2 people

  6. i’ve never been blog hopping and honestly i wouldn’t know where to start 😩😩 but you’re totally right about the ‘symbiotic relationship’ being unhealthy. i’m glad you’ve found a solution that ‘brings you joy’ (lol). now you know that everyone who interacts with your blog isn’t just doing it in exchange for you doing things for them 💖

    Liked by 2 people

    1. sabs, even though I literally just ranted about it in this post, I a hundred percent recommend doing it still. It’s a great way to reach an audience, and I think you should just find blogs whose content you enjoy in a blog’s comment section and comment on their posts. Everyone is really friendly, and I’m sure you’ll find friends in no time. even though i talked about symbiotic relationships, it’s also possible to find real connections.

      it honestly still feels like people are commenting for a comment back. I think I’ll continue to find people who genuinely like my content though!!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. your blog and a couple of others are the only blogs I really comment on. I get notifications when you guys post so it’s easy to catch up. that being said, if I do find a blogger who’s reviews and aesthetic I like then it’s an instant follow

        Liked by 1 person

  7. Caitlin, your posts are getting so intense and real! I definitely understand where this is coming from, and it also kinda makes me sad that some people only comment to get a comment in return. I agree with your thoughts!

    If I’m friends with a blogger, especially if we’re just beginning to be friends, I will read and comment on their post to let them know that I still support them! But that doesn’t mean that I expect a comment in return, and sometimes when a blogger does comment in return, I feel bad because I think they thought they had to comment on my blog or that I was asking for it.

    However, when I first comment on someone’s blog, I hardly know them and have probably only read one of their posts – my comments will probably be shorter if I’m not entirely friends with them yet, or longer if we’ve been chatting for a while! But always, when I comment on someone’s blog, even if it’s short, it’s because I want to get to know them eventually, and commenting helps me to remember them!

    Once again, this was such a thoughtful post! 💕 And good luck with exams!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. i think exam week just made my mind come up with controversial topics. idk. haha, i’m so happy to be done with them and THANK YOU. so glad that you agree!

      yep, i do that too–especially if they don’t comment back, i don’t care because I love their content and I want to support them! same, i feel really bad sometimes when people comment on my blog after i commented on theirs, and it’s pretty obvious when i read their comment that they don’t want to read my posts. if i like someone’s content, i comment to show support and not because I want something in return!

      commenting to remember them is such a great strategy. I think that you leave some of the best comments ever, and you should totally teach me your ways!

      Like

  8. Ooh Caitlin I love this post! I am quite anti the posts that are like “hey. Check out my blog” because it shows that you clearly have no interest in the content of the post at all. I will generally check out the blogs of people who comment on mine, but I’ll only comment on their posts if I’m genuinely interested. And same goes with other blogs, I try to blog hop as much as I can but I’ll only leave a comment if the post interests me. I’ve actually found that with the blogs I comment on I don’t usually get a comment back anyway? Which is totally fine but just goes to show that I comment out of interest and don’t really expect anything back 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. thank you, Cas 😭💛💛 same!! I’m honestly fine with comments that are there so that i’ll check out their blog. but only if they actually take the time to show that they read my post. if not, i won’t comment back. when commenting back, i sometimes am not interested in a blogger’s posts, but i just try to comment on the one that calls out to me the most, and i think that that works for me. someone took the time to comment on my blog, and I really want to give something back in return!

      there are some blogs out there who never comment back on my posts, but i still commented on their posts anyway. it’s because i admire their content so much. plus, i like commenting on their posts because it feels less fake. i know i won’t get a comment back anyway, so i’m not pressured to comment if i don’t have anything to say. plus, i don’t have to worry about the length of my comment or anything like that!

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Good luck with your exams Caitlin!! I’m sure you’ll do GREAT! <33

    I just want to say that I don't blog hop a whole lot (don't a blog a whole lot either 😉 ) and I tend to comment on a) blog posts that interest me and blog posts of my favorite bloggers or b) blog posts of bloggers' who've commented on my posts! (Whew, hopefully reading my sentences didn't make "blog" sound strange with my rampant overuse xD) Because my attention span is pretty short and I can't just go blog-hopping in the sense of trying to get comments back.

    Besides I don't think that's the best idea. I want to comment because I have something you want to say, whether it's something simple as my loving that discussion or review or my giving my own viewpoint on something like this! I do (try, at least) to comment back when people comment because generally if they were interested enough in what *I* had to say, then I'd probably feel the same about their posts too! 😀

    Thanks for writing this!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. miri, i was literally writing a whole response to you, and then my laptop ERASED EVERYTHING I WAS SAYING. ok i’ll try again: thank you!!! i’m so scared about the results, but I’m so thankful for your belief in me!

      I blog hop for the same reasons too. It’s just that I have limited time and I have to limit my blog hopping. Don’t worry, your sentence wasn’t weird at all!

      i love discussions so much! they are always really interesting, and they are really easy to comment on. with reviews, i find it harder if it’s a book that I haven’t read or that i have no interest in reading. i used to comment on reviews saying that i was interested in reading a book when i really wasn’t, and I really have to stop. I also comment back a lot, because I know how much effort writing a comment takes, and I want to pay it forward!

      so glad you liked the post!

      Liked by 1 person

  10. this can be such a touchy subject, so I admire that you spoke up and shared this post, Caitlin! it definitely made me feel a little guilty since I haven’t properly bloghopped in a really long time even to my friends’ posts (but please don’t feel obligated to assure me that this post wasn’t targeted at me, most of it is internal pressure/guilt anyway 😅)

    at the same time, my stats always spike when I’ve been bloghopping and drop when I haven’t: “you get what you give” at its most observable. I really appreciate your honesty about bloghopping for stats, it’s certainly something a lot of us are guilty of; it can be disingenuous and unhealthy, but I don’t think it’s all bad either.

    I used to make a point of returning comments – ie, leaving a comment on the blogs of everyone who commented on mine – but gave up months ago, partly due to time constraints and partly just because it was too much trouble trying to find genuine things to say. (I do still make a point of bloghopping to people who consistently leave me thoughtful comments, but I’ve managed to mostly get over feeling obligated to even reply to all my own blog comments.) I’ve also seen a lot of entitlement from some bloggers, complaining about not getting return comments as though they’re owed them, which certainly doesn’t make me want to hop to their posts.

    I absolutely agree that genuine engagement and personal connections are more important, and so much more fulfilling! real friends will understand that life gets busy, and that sometimes you can only leave them a view and a like; some blogs (especially “bigger” ones) are understandably unable to return comments and/or choose not to, but I’m still inspired to comment on their posts that resonate with me, because it’s a fantastic feeling to have touched someone’s life and I want to reciprocate even just a little bit.

    lately I tend to open a million tabs and never get around to any of them, except for a handful of posts that caught my eye and inspired an immediate response – like this one! by the way, good luck on exams 💕

    Liked by 1 person

    1. noooo, don’t feel guilty. i mainly wrote this post as a callout to myself and to let out my feelings–not to bash anyone. please rest assured.

      weirdly, i haven’t blog hopped a lot, but i haven’t really noticed a change in my stats. this is so weird HAHA. i think they’d definitely spike more if i did blog hop. which is sad because sometimes i really have no energy, but i still blog hop. i should get better at only blog hopping if i want to! yep, for me it’s not bad, as long as it’s not the only reason you’re blog hopping.

      I still do that! but i know that i miss some people. same!! i’m happy to have found real friends through blogging. i actually don’t think that real friends even have to comment on each other’s posts because blog hopping shouldn’t be a sign of friendship. maybe DMs and phone calls are because that’s where you can really get personal. i mean, you can in a comment section, but i don’t get the point when DMs are right there.

      i still comment on a few blogs that i know won’t comment back, and I love it because it means that i genuinely love their content. i also don’t feel any pressure to comment on every one of their posts or make my comment long and it’s the best.

      that was me when i first started blogging! as a newbie, i would follow EVERY blog i came across. my reader got so clogged every day, and i had no idea who i was following. i would then just comment on any post that interested me, and that wasn’t a lot because i was just following anyone i could find. but then i got guilty because i was told that blog hopping was a sure way to up stats, so.. now i’ve toned my blog hopping down a little because i am pretty satisfied with how i’m growing and i really want to stay in a place wherein i don’t pressure myself to blog hop!

      thank you so much 💙

      Liked by 1 person

  11. This post has really got me at a loss for words.
    I know I have done it, but I didn’t realise people did it long term?
    I try to comment purely because I enjoy the content, or have a thought that I would like to contribute, which explains why I don’t comment on as many reviews as I do discussions. I will read them, but not always interact because if I don’t have anything to add, I don’t want to come across as a needy reader.

    Good luck with your exams! I’m sure that you will do amazing!
    – Emma 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. thank you, emma!

      I’m not sure if there’s anyone who’s done it long term, but I think that we all have a phase in our blogging lives wherein we comment for the stats without enjoying the content we’re consuming.

      same, reviews are just so hard to comment on if the book isn’t on your tbr or if you haven’t read it. discussions are so easy to comment on though and that’s why i love them! when i first started commenting on reviews, i felt really fake, and i think that the bloggers whose posts i commented on could tell, now, i try and tell myself to just like a review if i enjoyed reading it but don’t have anything to say!

      Liked by 1 person

  12. I saw the title of this post and knew I was going to love it — and I was right!! This is definitely something I’ve thought about as well, especially as I’ve been trying to be more active to make up for my last year of inactivity. I try make sure that I’m following blogs whose posts I continually want to comment on (maybe not all the time, but most or at least half). I also, as often as I can, try to comment back when someone comments on a post — and yeah, sometimes it’s not because I /enjoy/ enjoy their content (though I do pick posts that I actually have something to say and not just force it lmao), but because I want to bring a little happiness to that blogger’s life!

    I think commenting is the way to make friends in this community — that’s how I started out making connections with other people! But if someone’s support of you becomes reliant on your support of them, there’s definitely an issue. And I think I’ve been influenced by this idea of supporting bloggers only comes from you supporting them, because when I was doing terrible at supporting bloggers, I was so surprised that people were still continuing to support me? Which is honestly such a sad mindset to have looking back on it, and that’s not to say I wasn’t touched by it. But it really showed how I was only expecting support when I supported other people, and how unhealthy and fake that was.

    Like you said, I think blog hopping and commenting for growth isn’t a terrible thing to do! (I still do it, and I’m sure many people do it.) But it’s definitely important to remember that interaction isn’t just about stats and growth, but also making blogging something actually worthwhile. It’s really obvious when someone is being genuine with their comments, and when they’re not!

    Sorry for the long comment (IT’S SUCH A GOOD TOPIC OKAY) and I’m wishing you ALL the luck on your exams!! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. THANK YOU SO MUCH MAY 😭😭💙💙

      When I first started blogging, I followed anyone I could find. And it got to point wherein I didn’t know half of the people I was following. When I went on an unfollowing spree, I felt so freed and happy.

      Oh, same. I usually comment back because someone took the time to comment on one of my post and I want to show that I’m grateful for them. But sometimes I click on their blog and I have no interest in their posts. What I do is just click on the title that most intrigued me and that works!

      Yes, that’s exactly what I was trying to say in this post! If someone’s support is contingent on you supporting them, it gets bad. But I still completely endorsed blog hopping because it’s a surefire way to build an audience and make friends, especially when first starting out.

      Oh, you’re amazing though—that’s why. (Okay I’m sure you think I’m lying but I’m nottt oh gosh.) but I know imposter syndrome is hard. I get it sometimes too, but I know that all of the people I support are worthy of my support even if they don’t support me.

      It really is obvious! I think I’ve left those types too—the ones that seem like someone just skimmed through your post and then wrote 1-3 sentences about whatever they could find. I’m trying to get so much better about that and leave genuine comments because I know I’m capable of writing them and I just get lazy sometimes!

      No it’s okay!!! Thank you again 💖💖💖

      Liked by 1 person

  13. MY GOSH THIS POST IS PERFECT. I agree a lot with what you’ve said here, and I’ve totally experienced this too! I’ll be the first to admit – I used to do so much blog hopping just because I wanted to grow my blog. It’s awful, but we’ve (probably) all have done it. But over time, I realized how much stress commenting and commenting back became. And isn’t blogging supposed to be FUN? Once I let that go and just commented on blogs that I really enjoyed reading, my blogging life became so much better. Anyways, this was a great post and I love it and I love you and that is all. Okay bye.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. THANKS KAT, BUT NO *YOU’RE* PERFECT 💛💛 yep, I know I’ve done it and I think a lot of people have too! I don’t think there’s any shame in that, but i stopped as well because typing out comments to blogs i didn’t even like got so tiring. honestly, it was a waste of my time. i still guilt myself into commenting on all the posts on my reader, especially if i like it because i read a lot of posts in advance, but don’t like or comment because i don’t have time to. but what i have to remember is that i’m here to have fun. AWWW KAT YOU’RE GONNA MAKE ME CRY AHHH I LOVE YOU TOO 😭💕

      Liked by 1 person

  14. Hi, I was wandering around Twitter and saw the link to this blog on someone’s page. I blog rarely. I have one, but life has been very very busy. Ahem, excellent article. In trying to build an author platform I try to focus on sharing things fantasy. I can understand why you wouldn’t want to comment on an auto mechanics blog. Be genuine, be real. =)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. so glad you found my blog through Twitter!! thank you!! that’s something I really have to work on, being genuine, being real. I probably would still comment if I like the other blog’s personality, because I would like to support them!

      Like

  15. OMG I saw you post this on Twitter, and I was like I AM READY. BRING ME THE TEA. (okay not tea per say but i honestly have SO SO SO many thoughts on this topic, and I’m so glad that you wrote such an honest piece about it) Also, this HELLA spoke to me because I just finished reading Marie Kondo’s book, and I wanted to write a post about actually following blogs that spark joy and why you should KONMARI your blogging life LMAO.

    Like you, I started off blog-hopping as a way to start building friendships and gain a foothold within this community, and I think it’s definitely a great way to meet new people and start building up stats in the beginning. It’s something that SO many people tell us to do when we ask for advice, and I think it’s totally valid because that’s how we get to know one another.

    BUT I definitely noticed like you about the give-and-take relationship that blog hopping sometimes has…and fjdsaklfjals idk I feel like it gets to a point where people do it dis-ingenuinely do it to get us to comment back. like many people probably don’t have bad intentions when they do it but then the SPARK JOY MARIE KONDO mindset in me is going “well why are you making this into a chore if you dont actually enjoy the content??” i think Lily wrote a Twitter thread about it talking about how do we just do it in hopes of them commenting back and contributing to our overall stats??

    SORRY FOR THIS LONG COMMENT but I just really am glad you said this and wrote about this topic because it’s such important food for thought. I don’t want to comment on posts I dont actually like (no offense #oops) just to get people to comment back because I honestly have more to say when the posts are INTERESTING and MAKE ME THINK. I think your posts definitely reach that point ❤️OKAY YEA GOOD LUCK ON YOUR EXAMS AND GREAT POST YA KNOW(!!)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. this comment 😭😭😭 please don’t feel sorry for the length–it made me so happy!!

      you should DEFINITELY write that post. I will a hundred percent support it. I’ve read and watched a lot of people Konmari something, but never konmari their blogging life, so i would be really interested to read it, and I think a lot of people would be too!

      it was the advice I was given too! it worked well, and I probably wouldn’t have grown as much if not for blog hopping, but I think I’m ready to tone it down a little because I’m always wondering about whether people actually like my blog or not. or if I come off as someone who comments just to comment. it’s pretty anxiety inducing ://

      like I said, I would love to read that post!! employing Marie’s teaching to this topic sounds like GENIUS. also, I never saw that thread? I probably joined book twitter too late haha, but i would love to have read it because Lily is so smart and I know she tackled the topic wonderfully!!

      THANK YOU SO MUCH. YOUR POSTS DO THAT TOO AHHH. like, idk, your personality just shines through in all of them and also in your blog aesthetic, so it’s impossible NOT to want to support you??

      Like

  16. i wondered about the same thing ever since i joined the bookish community in april. i think that when you start, commenting in people’s post is a good way to make your blog grow, but also in my case it helped me meet some people and just make friends? it sucks though, when you don’t comment on one post and they suddenly don’t talk to u. i feel exactly the same way as u do!

    i also realized this pattern is something you see on booktube and bookstagram —and tbh i think it’s worse on bookstagram? it’s all just… ugh annoying!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. definitely! My number one advice to newbie bloggers would be to blog hop. it’s hard to reach an audience, so you have to bring your blog TO an audience if that makes sense. it’s also a fantastic way to make friends. it does suck, and I’ve done it before–something I REALLY need to work on!

      i’ve never been a creator on booktube, but really?? i never noticed :00 I thoughts nobody really did that there because booktube already has a large enough audience of non-creators anyway that they don’t have to rely on blog hopping to grow their channels. and I’ve never been on bookstagram haha, but I’m so sorry!! I hope you find some genuine friends on there 💖💖

      Like

  17. This is such an interesting discussion, thank you so much for writing it all. I adore blog hopping and I adore meeting new people, new blogs and spend a lot of time doing so, and I know my blog’s growth has started thanks to this. I’m 200% certain that, if I hadn’t blog hopped ever, I wouldn’t have grown my blog, or at least it would have grown differently, too. That being said, I 200% agree with you about everything you said and leaving genuine comments, taking the time to leave genuine comments on the blog posts that interest us and purely because they are of interest to us, not for the sake of “getting something back”. I want to believe that I can read blog posts I adore and have genuine friendships with bloggers I’ve been chatting to, commenting on their blogs for years now and having conversations in comments and I want to believe they genuinely want to come by my blog to comment because they’re interested, not because they’re just interested in getting something back from me. My anxiety is killing me sometimes when it comes to this, because I feel like sometimes when I don’t have time or just enough energy to leave comments and visit my friends’ blogs, even if I am so interested in reading their content, they’ll forget about me anyway, but this is anxiety speaking I guess, I hope.
    ANYWAY this is a brilliant, thoughtful post, thank you for sharing it ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. ahhhhh, I hope your anxiety gets better! though I know I don’t have it as bad as others, anxiety is really hard to me. AND NO MARIE IF YOU SUDDENLY DON’T COMMENT ON MY BLOG, I WOULD KINDA BE HAPPY (?) it’s just that you do so much for the community, and you deserve a rest from blog hopping / anxiety inducing activities!

      same, my blog probably would not have grown AT ALL if I didn’t blog hop. Moreover, if I saw that nobody was interacting with my posts, I would probably have quit blogging because I started blogging to interact with people. I hope all of the same things to, and I’m so happy that you enjoyed this post 💜💜

      Liked by 1 person

      1. thank you, Caitlin, it comes and it goes, you just learn to live with it I guess haha. thank you so much though, I’m trying to be mindful and to be better at taking care of myself, something I deeply, deeply suck at but is necessary and that comes with slowing down, at times. It’s a slow process, but… well I’m trying haha ❤️
        Thank you for writing such a fantastic post, I loved it and I adore all of your posts ❤️

        Like

  18. Whoa okay lots of long comments on this one. I’m gonna be short and brief (or at least try to be). One, I totally agree with all of this. It makes me think about whether or not I come off as someone who only wants people to comment on my blog for stats. I want people to enjoy what I write because I enjoy it, and even if they don’t comment (that may semi hurt my feelings, but it’s just me), I hope they at least like it. I try to go through other blogs every once in a while and if there’s something I really want to say about it, I’ll say it. I don’t want to come off as someone who is only commenting just to comment, but I do want to show that I support you and love what you write because I do. Idk, I feel conflicted lol. Great post Caitlin. I’m glad you wrote it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. it’s okay!! I always welcome long comments–I leave them a lot myself. and i feel like long comments are always a given when it comes to discussions! kudos to you for being short and brief though ❤

      I think I come off like that too! I’m really trying to be better about it. but for me, even if someone just likes my post, I’m really happy because it probably means that they enjoyed it to some degree.
      ah, I’m really bad at checking out new blogs because I have no time and commenting takes a lot of energy. I have so much respect for people who comment on a lot of blogs, like you!

      I think that you can show that you’re commenting not just to comment, by simply being honest in your comments. i also don’t really endorse one sentence or two sentence comments that just say “great post!!!” but that’s a discussion for another time… sometimes it can be hard to leave a comment with your honest thoughts because you really don’t have anything to say, but when that point comes, i think you should just like the post! (this is definitely something I have to get better at)

      Like

  19. THIS IS SUCH A GREAT POST.
    Even as a newbie blogger I feel like it’s so hard to determine if people are commenting because they genuinely enjoyed the post or if for a follow/comment back. Or if I’ve commented on their post and they’re just commenting back to be nice you know?
    I try not to comment now unless I genuinely enjoyed the post, otherwise it just feels fake? If it’s someone who comments on mine though then I try to support by liking.
    I do love blog hopping though – it’s such a great way to support the community, find new bloggers to follow and also to grow your own blog, which is obviously an added bonus.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. yep, even when I was new (and I technically I am still new WOW), I could already notice it. I blog hopped wayyy more when I was a newbie, and it definitely helped me grow. I still endorse blog hopping now for the benefits that you stated, but I feel like we should be more genuine about why we’re leaving comments! kudos to you for doing that–I’m still working on it!

      same, if i really don’t want to or don’t have the energy to comment, I just like, or spam like. for me, likes are just as important as comments!

      Liked by 1 person

  20. This is SUCH an interesting post – and something that I think a lot of bloggers (including myself) should have a good hard think about. There have definitely been points that I’ve commented on people’s posts only in hopes that they’ll visit my blog, and not because I’m necessarily interested in their content. But it’s so much better for everyone when you’re engaging with posts that you actually enjoy!! Thanks so much for shedding light on this topic that definitely isn’t talked about enough!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. thanks for the sweet comment, Margaret!! you basically summed up this whole post in a paragraph hehe.

      only commenting on posts that I’m genuinely interested in is something I should definitely work on. and I feel like, as Ilsa tackled in her post, we can’t really know if people are genuinely interested because sometimes we make all this generic content and still get a lot of comments, so we think that we’re posting great content, but we actually haven’t reached our full potential? so only commenting on posts we’re genuinely interested in will push people to become better!

      Like

  21. This is such an amazing post and a great discussion! I think when I first started, I definitely did this. But now, I feel like I have made genuine connections with other bloggers, I look forward to their posts and, I hope, they look forward to mine. I always support the bloggers whose content I love, but I never expect them to show love back, though it’s appreciated.

    My view is, do what you love. Write posts that you love, comment on and like posts that you love and try not to get caught up in followers and stats, you’ll probably be a lot happier for it! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. this is SUCH a great view on things! I think you’ve made genuine connections too, and I admire you and everybody else who have managed to make them for that! same, I still comment on a lot of blogs who I know won’t comment back, and it’s the best feeling because I’m not pressured to make my comment long or to comment on the posts I don’t feel like commenting on!

      Like

  22. Ah, but what is friendship but a symbiotic relationship of social interaction and friendly affection?

    If your friend never answers your calls, no matter how often you reach out, then you’re gonna give up on the friendship (hopefully after establishing that they’re OK and haven’t slipped in the shower or something…) – that doesn’t mean that you’ll never pick up that friendship again in future, and doesn’t mean your relationship has to be tit-for-tat, but I’ve been in friendships where all the effort came from my side, and it’s goddamned *exhausting*!

    I also sometimes limit blog-hopping to those who’ve commented on my blog, simply because of time/energy constraints – you tend to prioritise people who put the effort in, y’know? (Esp. after nearly 5 years of blogging – re-visit this when you reach that point! And OMG, this blog is only 6 months old?! Why are newbies always so talented?! I was *not* this talented as a newbie (and poss. not now…) Lol. ❤ )

    That doesn't mean I'll *never* comment on other blogs (I'm here, after all! Hi!), and I also have mental rules of not commenting anything that I don't mean, trying to find something genuine to engage with in a post – even if it's totally random and fairly short (it often is,) etc.

    Also, this comment turned a lot more ramble-y than I planned! Oops! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. this comment made me laugh!! I love your personality just from reading it ❤

      THANK YOU FOR SAYING THAT. I’m not talented though :(( but YOU are for keeping your blog going this long! major kudos to you

      I definitely see why any friendship is technically symbiotic. but I meant symbiotic in the sense that it’s like these relationships are more like business transactions than real friendships. What differentiates the two is that in real friendships, you actually care about the person, and your friendship doesn’t depend on, say, how many Christmas gifts you give each other.

      I feel like blog hopping isn’t a great thing to base a friendship on. phone calls definitely are, especially if you’re long distance, because that’s where you truly get to chat and socialize with each other. and you can do that in a comment section too, but the type of comment I’m talking about are the ones that are left for a comment back instead of because of a genuine interest.

      I also mostly comment on the blogs that comment on my posts! But if I’m truly friends with someone who’s not commenting on my blog anymore, I’d still comment on their posts because we’re still friends, and I won’t drop them because I’m not getting anything in return. my point is: real friendships will always continue on even if you guys aren’t commenting on each other’s posts, and those are the relationships I want to attain.

      It’s okay! I ramble a lot myself, and I had a lot of fun reading your comment 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  23. caitlin, first of all: wow. this post!
    i haven’t been following your blog for the longest time, but i think it’s noticeable how much your content has improved. i don’t know if it was just you growing or if now you’re more comfortable with your blog to share deeper thoughts, even if controversial, but i love it! i love that you’re sharing more and more of those amazing thoughts you have and it makes me incredibly happy to see how much your content has developed. i really think you’re aiming to amazing things with your book blog and i can definitely see you growing rapidly!
    i think this discussion is amazing and i totally agree with everything you said. i’ve definitely been in the situations you described before, but i find that more and more, if i don’t have that much to add, i prefer not to comment at all and just like the post. there were definitely instances in the past in which i just commented because i felt like i “had to” comment back, but i’ll definitely keep this post in mind next time & and all the reflections you brought me.
    once again, amazing post! 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. thank you SO much, Lais!! I’m actually gonna addres this in future posts, but I used to think that i wasn’t capable of discussions before, but I’ve realized that I’ve loved writing them and that I do actually have thoughts to share! I don’t think this turn in my content will go on forever–it’s just for the week probably, because I suddenly got so many discussion post ideas!! I’ll def be sharing more rambles and discussions though. Once again, thank you so much Lais 💛💛

      same! I still fall into a habit of commenting on posts I don’t really want to comment on, but I’ve noticed that in those comments, I only write, like two-three sentences, and I should really do what you do and only like posts I don’t feel like commenting on!

      Liked by 1 person

  24. I *really really* love this post, because omg it defines how I feel about interaction a lot!! There are some people who don’t interact with me a lot but I’ll still comment on their posts bc I LOVE THEM but I’m always scared that ?? people actually don’t even like my posts and they’re just commenting so I comment back lmao. Also I don’t even comment back that often, which I feel kind of guilty about but like… idk. When people leave like one-sentence comments that don’t mean anything, but link their blog I just die inside. (If it’s a blogspot/non-wordpress site I understand because different platforms, but like wow!!!!)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. so glad you did!!

      oh gosh, same. I actually kind of like commenting on a blog that will never comment back because it means that I genuinely love their content. (cw from the quiet pond is a prime example!) I’m also not that pressured to comment on those blogs, so I only comment when I WANT to, and it’s so refreshing!

      I’d still comment on your blog even if you never once replied to me or commented back, and I think it’s the same case for a lot of other people too <33

      same, I try to comment back because someone took the time to leave a comment on my post, and I'm grateful for that. but sometimes I see comments that literally just say "great post" and I go ???? maybe the commenter really is genuine, but it doesn't seem that way for me, so I probably won't comment back ¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯ when people do that, I die inside as well haha

      Like

  25. CAITLIN I LOVE THIS POST SO MUCH thank you for being so genuine and real and talking about this bc i think it’s something we all suffer from and on everyone’s mind but we dont know how to put it into words (and look at you, doing it so eloquently)

    but, you’re so right, the “commenting-for-comment” thing can feel really transactional at times and it’s kinda the nature of the blogging world “commenting = interaction” and its a hard cycle to break

    i think the main takeaway from all this, for me, is making a conscious effort to comment on posts when i genuinely have something to say rather than making it something linked back to my benefit. am i making sense? lol

    great post caitlin, you really got me thinking

    Liked by 1 person

    1. WHAT MAY AHHH YOU ARE GONNA MAKE ME CRY THANK YOUUU 😭💚💚💚

      I know! I think it’s because the book blogging community is so small that most of a book blogger’s audience are book bloggers themselves, so it’s better to comment on more blogs to increase your audience. but this just results in transactional relationships instead of friendships most of the time

      yes you are!! I think that’s my main takeaway too. and I still comment back on blogs that comment on my posts, but a rule I’ve made for myself is to only follow people whose content I’m genuinely interested in.

      thanks again, and I’m so glad it was able to do that :))

      Liked by 1 person

  26. Oh my goodness, YES to all of this post!! Ilsa’s post partially inspired me to write a similar post about this topic as well! I love how honest and genuine you are in this post! ❤ It really is upsetting how there are some people who only choose to comment, so that they might receive a response in return. I used to spend hours blog hopping because I felt an obligation of sorts to return comments and to interact as much as I can. I eventually realized that I don't *need* to always be blog hopping, and that it's okay if I want to be more selective. I have a busy life, and I can't dedicate hours upon hours, commenting on posts that don't really "bring me joy". I will always try to connect with my true blogging friends as much as I can, but even during times when I can't do it as frequently, I know our friendship will last!

    Wonderful post, love! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. ahh, i’m so sad that I haven’t seen that post! thank you 💙 yep, i used to be one of those people, honestly, but then i realized that i didn’t want people to treat me the same way, and I’m trying my best to stop.

      me too! i used to comment on every post in my reader, even on blogs that only posted blog tours or cover reveals of books I had no interest in. also, blog hopping used to take hours of time out of my day, and I realized that i’d rather utilize that time doing things I enjoy doing! aww, kelly, i know our friendship will last too 😭

      thank you so much 💚💚💚

      Like

  27. I seriously love this post! 💜 I blog hop a lot, and I love visiting the blogs I follow as well as discover new blogs – for me part of the fun of blogging is interacting with other bloggers and reading their content. But it can feel very much like a transaction, especially if you participate in weekly memes. I gave up on Top Ten Tuesday a while ago, and then started doing it again a couple of months ago after our move to wordpress, but I’m giving it up again 😂. Tomorrow is my last day doing it. While I genuinely enjoyed the topics I worked on and changed them according to what I wanted to write about, the commenting was tiring. I felt like I *had to* comment on others’ posts to get the amount of views/comments I wanted – which is messed up as it is because I was obviously using those bloggers to boost myself. And others were doing the same. And the thing is, these memes are all about interactions, so it’s fine, right? But then there are those who simply say “great post, here’s mine” which makes me so frustrated. 😂 I think there’s a huge difference between a genuine comment and one that *ONLY* wants a comment back. I think a lot of bloggers do the whole comment back thing but are still very genuine and only leave comments on posts they are interested in. Great discussion! 💜

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m so glad that you loved it, Veronika! I loved this comment! Yep, I will never not blog hop–it’s so fun to share your thoughts on someone’s post, particularly if you enjoyed it!

      OMG SAME. I used to participate in ttt, but I’m thinking of permanently ceasing to participate in it. Writing posts for it doesn’t really bring me joy, and IT’S SO TRUE ABOUT THE COMMENTS! when I post a ttt, someone’s just gonna write one sentence and then provide the link to their post. like, did you even read the post??

      yes, I do the comment back thing too and a lot of my fave bloggers do too, but i think that it’s fine to do that if their comments are genuine!
      thank you!

      Liked by 1 person

  28. First post I read on your blog and I already know I’ll be coming back! 🙂 This is so good. I blog hop A LOT, but I don’t comment a lot. Usually I only reply if I really liked the blog. That’s what matters to me more than just getting clicks and higher stats. I would love lots of comments on my own blogs, but I don’t and that’s okay. Because the three comments in total that I do get – I feel – are genuine interest on what I wrote in the post.
    Also, I don’t have time to comment so much + blog + read + work + have a social life + life in general haha. I’m amazed by people who can do it all!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Aw thank you so much! I hope you do ❤️ I love your routine! Personally for me too, I’d rather I’d get fewer comments on my blog if it means that the commenters are there because they genuinely like my content & not because they want a comment back/feel obligated to comment back.
      Oh same! But back when I had all the time in the summer, blog hopping became a part of my daily routine, & I find it hard to let go of it now haha 😂 especially because I only follow the blogs I truly enjoy and most posts on my reader are posts that I wanna comment on! But yeah, I do only really blog hop in the weekend now or when I have time. Reason 29273737 why I hate school!! Same, people who can do it all are amazing (cough Marie @ drizzle and hurricane books haha)

      Liked by 2 people

  29. I think I’ve found a happy medium between blog hopping for views and blog hopping for content. Sometimes, I do it because I’m looking for inspiration or ideas. My brain always starts working if I see a lot of different content. At this point, I know that some people visit my blog only because I visit theirs. I’m grateful for their comments, but it’s quite easy to find out who is here as a friend/genuine reader and who is here just to get a comment back. For example, I’m friends with this blogger who used to write a lot of funny and general posts/rants, which are my things, and hence I commented and she commented and I thought we were friends. Now, she does a LOT of posts on beauty, which I am not into at all. It’s great that she enjoys it, but since I’m not into it I don’t visit those posts and comment. It took me two months to realize that she wasn’t visiting my blog either, even in just likes. That got me sad, but that’s unfortunately how the blogging community works sometimes. All I can do is control my part in the community.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Ohh, Sumedha, I FELT THIS COMMENT.

      I think I’ve found a happy medium as well! I don’t think I’ll ever reach the point when I’m not blog hopping for views because blog hopping is a big part of the reason why my blog has grown and is still growing. Even though I only follow and continually comments on blogs that I genuinely like now, I know that part of the reason I’m commenting on the posts on my reader is because I want those bloggers to comment back too. I also comment back on a lot of the blogs who comment on mine–admittedly, even though I’m sometimes not that interested in their content, in hopes that they’ll keep commenting on my blog. I think that blog hopping can be about the views!! But my motto is that it shouldn’t only be about views. Sure, I’m doing it for stats, but I’m happy that I’m still interacting with posts that I enjoy.

      I can think of a lot of people who are commenting on my blog just for the views too. But I honestly don’t care because they leave genuine comments that I love reading, plus I love their posts, and I’ll keep commenting on them even if they never acknowledge my existence.

      i can think of a few bloggers whose posts I stopped commenting on because their posts just weren’t that interesting to me. Before, we were leaving this steady supply of comments on each other’s post, but once I stopped, they stopped as well, and I don’t even think they remember me.

      yep, this is an integral aspect of the blogging community, because we’re pretty small–and usually it’s bloggers who are lifting up other bloggers. There are almost no people who are just viewers, and not creators. I think the most we can do is find a balance between blog hopping for views, and blog hopping because we genuinely enjoy people’s content!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m glad you relate, Caitlin! I hope it doesn’t mean that I’m selfish because I’m actually glad that I’m not alone in this feeling. I do agree that blog hopping CAN be for views because we have to lift each other up. I barely know people who follow blogs when they don’t blog. Even my own friends don’t know how blogs work and just.. don’t bother to find out even if it’s just to read my posts. I guess it’s just a process of understanding how much you can do and being grateful for what you get. The hardest part that I’ve had to do is make a routine to visit and comment the blogs I follow first before looking for new blogs. For a while, I just started with blogging memes and link-ups and commented A BUNCH. And eventually, I realized that I was missing out on the content by the people I genuinely I like and followed because I want to see more. I’m glad that you have that worked out! I’m slowly getting there.

        Liked by 2 people

      2. You’re not selfish at all! I think that a lot of people can relate to the feeling, actually. Right? It’s one of the realities of being in a small community.

        I hope you find what ultimately works for you! I remember when I first started blogging, the only advice I’d been given was to engage. I wasn’t told WHO exactly to engage with, so I followed ANY blog I could come across, planning to comment on every post on my Reader, but it got to the point wherein my Reader got so clogged everyday, and I barely knew whose posts I was commenting on or who I was even following. When I went on an unfollowing spree, I felt so freed, and I definitely know more about whose blogs to comment on now.

        Actually, i never started with link-ups. I don’t even know why HAHA. but commenting on every blog that does those sounds TEDIOUS. kudos to you for doing it!

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Thank you!

        I don’t comment on ~every~ blog that does link-ups but I do visit as many as I can. I actually enjoy it because I come across posts that I actually want to read, like bookish Top Ten Tuesday posts and Sunday Posts, which is usually more personal. I love reading about people’s lives haha!

        Liked by 1 person

  30. Oooooo this is a super interesting post and I completely agree – the book community is very heavily invested in interacting… something that I can’t always do due to my personal life (and now with my wrist, I’m even more limited because I can’t push it too much). Every blogging tip that I read out there says to ENGAGE with other blogs, but that’s assuming we have the privilege of time to do so all the time and I highly doubt any of us do (if others do, that’s great). I do try to visit blogs that comment, especially if they leave a thoughtful comment, but I’ve tried not to beat myself over it if I don’t find a content that I enjoy from them. What’s the point if I’m just going to say, “Great post!” or “Great review!” and nothing else?

    Sometimes I do forget a person’s blog – I don’t bookmark or track through Feedly or WordPress simply for the sake of my own health. Trying to keep track just drives me up the wall and then I start to beat myself over not visiting, so if I do remember, I try to visit them to see what they’re up to at the very least if I’m not leaving a comment. Other times I completely forget to like their latest post despite reading them… and as for comments, I’ve fully ignored my WordPress notifications so I don’t hit the like button (and I definitely take a million years to respond, oops).

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I’m so sorry about that, Sophia! What happened to your wrist? I hope it’s not permanent!

      I also comment back on the blogs that comment on my blogs, but sometimes I just forget or don’t have time. I actually still comment even though their posts don’t interest me, which is pretty sad, but I try to find the posts that I can think of a lot of things to comment about. I personally find it discouraging when people just comment “Great post!” on my posts, so I try my best to not do that to other people.

      Ahh, my blog hopping system right now is just commenting on almost every post on my Reader, and checking out a book blog that commented on my blog if I remember to/have time/can easily locate their blog!

      Ohhh, I have this really bad habit of reading a post–a lot of the time, an amazing post–and not liking or commenting. It’s just that I know that I want to leave a comment later, and usually I read blog posts when I have no time to comment or no wifi connection, and more often than not, I do remember and go back to show my support to the post, but sometimes i don’t and I find it really sad.

      ohhh, MOOD. I have a bad habit of reading comments in advance but not replying. (I hope people can forgive me.) Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this topic, Sophia! I’m sorry that you’re put at a disadvantage with blog hopping–privilege is sadly an unfair phenomenon in all areas of the world. Also, please don’t feel bad about not interacting or replying to comments late! No one will mind. Plus, anyone who has blog hopped or replied to comments will know how time consuming and overwhelming it is sometimes.

      Liked by 1 person

  31. Great post 😀
    Anxiety really gets me on this! When I first started out, I used to follow back everyone and we’d comment on each other’s posts all the time, and it was pretty cool. However, as I started following more people and life got busier, it was impossible. Eventually, I started unfollowing people whose content didn’t interest me as much. And when it gets to blog hop and commenting, I usually prioritize people and posts I genuinely enjoy, I can’t read everything, unfortunately ): I completely understand if people were to do the same with me! I’m just scared of people only following me for a follow & comment back …

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you!!
      Ohh when I first started blogging, I followed Any blogger I could find to the point that I couldn’t comment on any of the posts on my reader anymore. The best decision I ever made was going on an unfollowing spree!! Now I think every post that shows up on my reader have content that I’m genuinely interested in. I’m sad that I can’t comment back all the time, but I think that blog hopping shouldn’t be something we pressure ourselves fo do.
      Same—that’s the whole reason I wrote this post! I started blogging to make friendships and I really don’t want that to be the case 😔

      Liked by 2 people

      1. I completely agree! I do some unfollowing sprees yearly or so … some bloggers are no longer active or I’ve changed my tastes … it’s really nothing personal and it makes me feel bad if people think so, I’d follow everyone if I could handle it )):

        Liked by 2 people

  32. Oof, this got me. I have so many thoughts on this. Blog hopping is hard for me because of everything I have going on in life. Getting daily posts done and replying to comments takes about all the free time I have. When I’m able to blog hop, though, the majority of the time I don’t go by who commented on my posts. Maybe that’s wrong of me, but I want to spend my time going through my dashboard and the people I purposefully followed. And honestly, if somebody is commenting on my blog for the sole purpose of having me visit them and comment on their posts then I probably don’t really want their comments in the long run. I’d rather have people visiting me, commenting, and liking because they WANT to and not because they’re hoping to get something out of it in return. That’s a big problem I have with Instagram. So many people have huge followings but it only seems to be because they follow every single person back. If they didn’t do that would they have a huge amount of followers still? Maybe it makes me a bitch but I want there to be a reason why I follow and visit people. I hope all of that made sense. It got a little rambly. Sorry!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I FELT THIS COMMENT. Whenever I have free time, I always, always, prioritize those I follow because I follow people whose content I genuinely love and I always look forward to their posts. Sure, I try to comment back, but sometimes I just don’t have the energy, and I think not commenting back shows you who’s there because they love your content and who’s there for a comment back. I would rather get fewer engagement if it meant that everyone was genuinely interested in my posts!

      I’m personally not on Instagram, but I see this a lot on twitter. There are people who have 5000
      Followers, but they follow about 7000 people and I’m just??? Personally, a clogged feed with people I’m not even gonna engage with is a no no and I’d rather grow slower. I went through a period of following everyone back on all social media and it was NOT FUN.

      You don’t sound like a bitch at all—don’t worry! I get what you’re saying, and I always welcome rambly comments!!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m honestly so glad you understood what I was trying to say because I could see how it would come off as being bitchy so THANK YOU! And it’s honestly nice to find somebody else that feels the same way I do because it didn’t seem like anybody else did?

        AND YES! I don’t understand how people can function when their feed is so clogged. I was following almost 1,000 people on Twitter and it was starting to really mess with my mental health because of how clogged everything was. I went and unfollowed almost 200 people so far and it’s nothing against them or their content I just need to be able to breathe! I also noticed that I was missing out on content from the people I wanted to see because they were being drowned in so many tweets.

        Liked by 1 person

  33. This is a FABULOUS post, and it’s a concept that I’ve pondered many times over my six years of blogging. I feel like I have some wonderful friends that I’ve met via blogging and I’ve built up some real relationships. At the same time, there’s always a wave of “current” blogger friends who come and go—which isn’t any more their fault than mine. Over the years, I’ve tried to attack this issue in a few different ways, but I honestly don’t know that there’s a perfect solution. I WANT to keep up with everyone, but I’ve found that it just isn’t sustainable. So, I tend to focus on:

    1. Replying and commenting back. I try my hardest to always comment back when I get comments, but there are certain instances where I just can’t find anything to comment on (when the blogger’s tastes are really different than mine and there are no “general” types of posts for me to read).

    2. Commenting on posts that are linked up to my challenges. I host a Book Blog Discussion Challenge, and I read and comment on every post (even though sometimes I get behind). I love bookish discussions so this isn’t really a hardship. I also try my best to get to all the wrap-ups linked to my Monthly Wrap-Up Round-Up.

    Now, if I’m being honest, I sometimes stop there, because I’ve already run out of steam by keeping up with those. BUT I really do try to also occasionally look back at old posts to see if there are friends I’ve lost touch with and visit them AND visit some new people that I’ve found in various ways (that’s how I ended up here—from a link @ Paper Procrastinators in their month-end wrap-up). Still, it never quite feels like enough when there are SO many bloggers out there to connect with!

    Okay, that was a long-winded response and I feel like I could keep typing forever. I think the fact that you’re thinking about this at all shows that your heart is in the right place and you’re doing what you can to be a “real” blogger friend. And you will find a core group of people who will stick with you through thick and thin! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I definitely get what you’re saying about blogger friends who come and go! Personally, my blog hopping schedule goes like, 1) Comment on the posts on my Reader, since I’m picky about who I follow, 2) Comment back (if I remember to), and maybe I’ll occasionally try and find new blogs to follow, but that only happens occasionally.

      It’s so cool that you run your own meme! I could honestly never 🙈 Doing all that must take all the wind out of you and I definitely wouldn’t blame you for stopping after that. (It’s amazing that you found me through Malka and Chana, though!)

      It will never feel like enough for me too! Sadly, we can’t all be Marie HAHA. But what works for me is finding the posts I truly want to comment on, and I think that that’s enough 💕

      Ahh, thank you so much for saying that 😭 that warms my heart so much, and I’ll remember that as I try and find “real” blogger friends. Thank you so much for reading and commenting, Nicole!

      Liked by 1 person

  34. This is such a fun and controversial topic to discuss. Love the post. Initially, I followed back every blog who followed me. But now I realise I don’t even read the posts of half of those blogs. I really need to clean up my follow list. I am glad to say that, though not many, I do have earned a couple of blogger friends who regularly comment on my posts whenever they get time, whether I comment on their posts in return on not. And I try to do the same 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. yes I’ve been loving discussing with everyone in the comments!
      I used to do that. But then my feed got so clogged with people who I didn’t even know of. It led to me not knowing half the people in my reader, and me losing motivation to comment.
      do clean up your following list!! I regularly do that and it’s SO relaxing and easy to stop following people whose posts don’t bring you join or who you don’t interact with. If you ever unfollow someone and then regret it after, you can just put your email in their subscribe via email widget and you’ll be following them again without getting a notification ;))
      i’m super happy that I have blogger friends like that too! they’re the best ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  35. Caitlin, this was such a great read!!! I agree with you that it is sooo easy for us as bloggers to slide into a comment tit for tat in the effort of improving stats and engagement, but I can’t believe that people are still leaving comments that are just basically “Hey, nice post! Follow my blog!” Didn’t they get the memo that does not help get followers? LOL

    I always try to leave a comment for anyone who visits my blog and leaves a comment because 1. I am ALWAYS appreciative when someone leaves a comment and 2. I get so few comments that it is pretty easy for me to do that. However, I try not to limit my commenting to only people who leave me a comment, and I don’t expect people to leave a comment on my blog just because I left a comment on theirs. Doing that just seems disingenuous to me.

    Recently, as it has become harder for me to consistently blog hop, I have been thinking beyond leaving comments as the only way to support and engage with my fellow bloggers. If I can’t leave a comment, I may share their post on Twitter and tag them if they are also on Twitter, or I will pin their post to one of my Pinterest boards. Another easy way to support is to follow them on Twitter or like their Facebook page. Sometimes you just don’t have the bandwidth to leave a good comment, but there are other ways to interact with bloggers. We just have to be creative! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. thank you so much, Katisha!! I KNOW RIGHT?? i see people doing that all the time, and like, sure, I think that blog hopping for stats is valid, but you actually have to put effort into your comments so that people will comment back?

      ahhh I comment back too! Or at least try to because I have limited time sigh. i mainly do it because I want the people who comment on my blog to feel appreciated, because I love that they took the time to engage with my thoughts. yes, I have abolished the idea that if I comment on someone’s blog, they should immediately comment back! sure, I prioritize the people who have commented on my blog, but I know that I’m also commenting on their blogs because I genuinely like their content.

      ahh, that’s such a great way to show support! I think sharing on Twitter is also super helpful, and I see a lot more people doing that lately! sadly, I don’t have pinterest, but I should really get one, so that I can pin the posts of my favorite bloggers. a lot are sooo pinnable, like Kelly @ Another Book in the Wall’s! thanks for bringing this alternative to blog hopping to my attention! honestly, blog hopping is sooo time consuming that being able to show my appreciation for a blogger with just one click is such a good idea!

      Like

  36. Totally agree! And no, you don;t sound like you are bashing anyone! It does baffle me when I’m busy and I can’t be on top of my comments as I would like to and some visitors stop coming! I do realize though that most blogger suse the comments on their blog as the “list” of blogs to visit. I used to do that until I realized I was missing visiting blogs I loved because they were busy and not commenting so I created a separate list. Great post!

    Like

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